This work frustration is hard, but by my inability to cook and bake and eat as I did at home is what really gets to me. I knew food was a big part of my life, but I just recently realized how much it defines my existence. I like cooking because I create something. because I can share that creation with others. because it's a social event. because it warms me up or cools me off. because each new recipe is an adventure, a challenge. because as a new recipe becomes a tried-and-true favorite, I can play with adaptations. because I know, and control, exactly what goes into my belly. because it is relaxing. and most importantly, because I get to eat at the end of the process. nom nom nom.
Here my kitchen is limited - one pan, one pot, one four-burner stovetop, one microwave. I like to think of this - making something delicious, yet simple - as an ongoing challenge. But the meals have become routine and boring. And cooking for one doesn't offer the same satisfaction as cooking for others. And baking would make the cold more bearable, but I have no oven.
During a recent Skype date with Alyssa, I expressed my surprise at going through cooking withdrawal. She was surprised by my surprise, pointing out that every time we see each other I talk about some new recipe from Vegetarian Times or a new kitchen tool Ari ordered online. Valid point.
When thinking of being home again, I am looking forward to the food as much as seeing friends and family again. (No offense.) I am looking forward to making the food I think about instead of thinking about the food I can't make.
So being what may be the only commentor on the blog so far,I will try to be aware of repeating myself as I'm sure I am about to.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that jumps out about this to me is the same thing that jumped out when you wrote a similar post several weeks ago -- this has already proven to be a worthwhile experience.
I think you're right, being in the middle of the experience it is hard to see sometimes. I'm pretty sure this is right under all circumstances no matter how grave (or not). Talk about being challenged, the simple fact that you are continuing to push through the crap, deal with the "limitations", recognize the differences in your life style, recognize the differences in your work style and possibly even career goals is enough to make the 3 months (not a long time AT ALL) worthwhile. And I didn't even list all of the things that you can take away from this.
Do not pigeon-hole yourself here. Try your best to not simply view this experience as something that you'll be able to put on your resume. YOUR RESUME IS THE LEAST OF YOUR CONCERNS. Step away from the symbol (your resume/cv/credentials) and get real comfortable with the meaning (your character growth, increases in tolerance,creativity, perspective, intimate anthropological understanding).
You may not come away from SA with a big scoop or the answer to a "BIG" question or even tangible contacts and that needs to be ok. It might be that you needed to go to figure yourself out. Some people have their SA experience 80 miles from home, some 500 miles from home...for you its more like 2000 miles (I have no idea how far away SA is)
There's more I could say, but at the end of the day you know that when you leave there you have loving friends and family that are waiting for you expecting a hot fresh meal (no seriously you're on the clock as soon as you land).
You're proving every day that you could/can do this. Everything else (and there is A LOT) is delicious gravy.
Now keep blogging...